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  1. But there are also lots of other important reasons we need to ground ourselves and why is it so important to remind ourselves that the  is . I started suffering from panic attacks about a year ago, they were triggered by the on going financialcoercive domestic  that my ex was reining down on my self and the children. When I decided to split with him after nearly a decade of emotional abuse I naively thought that we would just split and that the children would be the first priority in all our minds and that everything would just be fine and Id be free.

    When I decided to split with him after nearly a decade of emotional abuse I naively thought that we would just split and that the children would be the first priority in all our minds and that everything would just be fine and Id be free.

    I was totally wrong and the abuse escalated to an amount so severe that I began waking up in the night unable to breath with panic attacks from the stress and terror  been purposefully inflicted on me by my ex partner along with the financial abuse I was getting constant death threats not been taken seriously my I add.

    He first abandoned a joint tenancy ( something I hadn’t even thought he would do) I wouldn’t even do that to a flat mate as its morally wrong in more ways than one, never mind to someone who is the parent and carer of my children so I was very shocked that he would use do this at the expense of the children.

    At first I realized I would be able to just pay the rent by the skin of my teeth even if that meant that I couldn’t  eat ( but who cares right? as long as the children have a roof over their head and food in their bellies) but…

    He then stole all my business stock , stole my bank cards , locked my work laptop and then he decided to call the land lord well the estate agent working on their behalf.  He went into great detail about how he was leaving the house and that I was going to be alone and that I would not be able to afford the rent anymore. He also told her that he just wanted them to know so that they could contact me and that’s exactly what she did.

    I realized I would be able to just pay the rent even if that meant that I couldn’t  eat ( but who cares right? as long as the children have a roof over their head and food in their bellies) but…

    The woman from the estate agent then called my phone. She said what is going on? have you got something you want to tell me? I felt like a naughty child and this is when my  first started. I didn’t know what it was at this time I can only describe it as an absolute shear panic with my heart racing so fast and my body would be trembling and I could not breath properly ( no one was physically touching me but the physical symptoms were very real) and trying to suppress this from this bully estate agent lady was close to torture.

      

    I tried to explain to her that the rent was not in arrears and that it would be paid on time as usual so I don’t know why he has told you that. I didn’t know what else to say, to this she replied you do realize I can get you out on the street with you and your children within a week and that she didn’t even need the rent to be paid.

    to this she replied you do realize I can get you out on the street with you and your children within a week and that she didnt even need the rent to be paid.

    At this point I knew very little of my rights as a tenant and what she was saying to me was in fact illegal because I had a signed tenancy that had another 6 months so this actually amounted to harassment. This woman from a local Manchester estate agent and continued to email me with threats and phone calls too. All the while I was literally alone with my 2 children and I didn’t know what to do and I still don’t know why she felt that she could do this to me eventually I called citizens advice and a council man got involved and contacted her on my behalf reminding here of my rights . Please see my section on your rights as a tenant when your relationship breaks down coming soon.

    If anyone is thinking of leaving an abusive person please please put a safety plan into action first, contact your local domestic abuse service and let them help you. I didn’t know any of this at the time and my mental health took a battering before I eventually received any help.

    If anyone is thinking of leaving an abusive person please please put a safety plan into action first, contact your local domestic abuse service and let them help you

    This continued on and on until eventually out of sheer luck my old house came back up for rent the one Id lived in with my son and step daughter for years before my ex came out of prison and turned our lives upside down again. I rang her up and she was more than happy to have me back but the rent had gone up that I knew it probably would have, because it had been a few years and because I’m self employed I couldn’t prove my income so would have to pay 6 months up front this shocked me but there was nothing I could do. I am very grateful to my parents that they paid the deposit and the six months up front or I would of ended up in a hostel with the children without a doubt. I know how lucky I am and the kids do too we will be eternally grateful to my mum and dad and everyone who has supported us. Its 3 years on since this happened and we do have a roof over our head and I’m slowly rebuilding my business. I’m still suffering from separation abuse though which has caused my anxiety to fluctuate up and down. There is a pattern of when it comes and its is always about a week before I have to come into contact with my abuser. I have found many ways to deal with it but one is most definitely  and making sure I stay organised as not to add to the stress.

    I am very grateful to my parents that they paid the deposit and the six months up front or I would of ended up in a hostel with the children without a doubt

    I have found these amazing  they are just lovely and all I have to do is have a glance at it when I’m feeling panicked and it reminds me that the time is now!

    Please leave your stories and comments about domestic abuse and any tips on how you deal with your anxiety. The watches are available in white black and brown and are less than £10 delivered at www.growthfulsouls.co.uk

    The theme of the Now watch is taken from Jimmy Buffet’s famous song as follows:

    I bought a cheap watch from a crazy man

    Floating down canal

    It doesn’t use numbers or moving hands

    It always just says now

    Now you may be thinking that I was had

    But this watch is never wrong

    And If I have trouble the warranty said

    Breathe In, Breathe Out, Move On

    check them out here

  2. Leggings Love them or Loathe and why I’m not ashamed to say I f**king Love them!

    Leggings are a staple item found in every mum’s wardrobe in fact every ones wardrobe! But because my blog is mainly aimed at mum’s I will be referring to mum’s a lot.

    Any mum who “says” she hates leggings isn’t alone because I feel the need to “say” I hate leggings, but the truth is I secretly f**king love them. They are comfy they can be dressed up and dressed down and they are so easy to throw on for the school run, they are easy to wash and dry and no ironing woo hoo!! But there is a big BUTT..

     



     

     are a staple item found in every mum’s wardrobe in fact every ones wardrobe!

     

    Yes we can wear them at the gym in the house in the garden in public (most styles anyway) and also on a night out. There are so many different types, styles and  of leggings  so what’s not to love?

    Well nothing really but there are a couple of tips I can give been a mum that often sports the  look more often than not and made a few dodgy legging mistakes Ill share as I wouldn’t want anyone making these embarrassing faux pas legging fashionista disasters.

    One day fed up of wearing my usual black or navy I decided to get a beige pair yes they were bloody beige not skin colour as my sister pointed out and a few work colleagues or naked pants as my son pointed out after Id already rocked up in public with them on with nowhere to hide.

     



     

     

     

    I did believe it or not look in the mirror that day before I left the house my only mistake was I didn’t look in the mirror from at least 10ft away as if I did then I would have seen that I looked like I was naked from the wasted down with a Hollywood look on full show any waxist beautician would be proud of. Hence these went straight in the bin and Iv since stuck with classy colours navy’s, grey’s and black’s.

    So I think we can safely say Naked Look Leggings Are Not a Good Look and below some examples I found on the internet which make me go a little red remembering my walk of shame back to the car that day and my point made clear on the importance of choosing the right colour of legging.

     

    So I think we can safely say Naked Look Leggings Are Not a Good Look

    Another legging problem can be the camel toe, this is something that can occur if the leggings are a little too small so always go for a size bigger so as not to cause over exposure and circulation cut off causing a camel toe bulge experience and always team with a top that covers the toe area just in
    case.

    always go for a size bigger so as not to cause over exposure and circulation cut off causing a camel toe bulge

    Other than that I can say that I LOVE Leggings and as I sit here now I’m wearing a lovely comfy pair in Graphite Grey  and are the perfect blend of  95% and  5% so not see through at all even if I bend over at 90 (I checked) less than £10 delivered check them out at growthfulsouls in many colours and sizes 8-22

    My actual leggings